Welcome to My Blog - Bhushan Kachru

                             Givers

                             Closer to Realization 

                                                                    Photo Credit-Tom Parsons

I recall as a kid many saints visiting our ancestral home in Srinagar (Kashmir) and were given respect and alms by my late grandparents. I remember my late father explaining me how helping poor and needy brings us closer to self- realization. However, it is sad to witness how some business men use helping the needy as a publicity stunt, give less instead look for returns. There are number of examples where some instead of donating old clothes, utensils, and furniture etc to needy sell these in the market place. There are many rich who don’t believe in sharing and caring while some close their doors the moment a taker knocks. On the other hand there are countless examples of how parents, teachers, and others have contributed in our betterment without looking for returns. I have come to realize that giving is motivated by our deeply held need to find real meaning and objectives of our being.

 According to Maslow’s theory of motivation, the basic human needs are physiological, safety and security, followed by belongingness and self-esteem. Once these are met, the self-actualization (self-fulfillment) need arises. On analyzing this and subsequent interventions, we realize that Maslow increasingly became convinced that self-actualization is actually path of experiencing spiritual attainment. It is a form of prayer that connects to the inner self and comes from a selfless act – where the self-actualized simply helps in the progress of others and facilitates them reaching their goal. It is done through sharing of knowledge, life experiences and cooperation.  Giving is not just donating money or offering free lunches or giving gifts on Christmas/ Diwali and forgetting. The underline principle is service for the development of people, a dream which most cherish to be in after a successful life innings. Swami Vivekananda once said- ‘Service to mankind is service to God’

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Giving Leads to Empowerment

The word “empower” means to give power to others and make them stronger and confident. Self-actualization is a life-long mission of attaining enlightenment step by step. A monk in Mathura, India once said, “The real self-actualization takes place when people are valued irrespective of their dark side.” Don’t you and I want to have a sense of purpose and bond with our life by constantly sharing our resources by giving? Because what is good for the takers is good for each of us and who knows that giving comes back some way or the other to the giver.

1 Creates positive aura and is a way of life. We constantly visualize opportunities of helping takers convert their dreams to reality.

2 Taker becomes change agent for attainment of our happiness, accomplishments and changing our material thoughts. The objective is giver to try to make the taker stand on his own legs and not become dependent.

3 As an empowered mind, we appreciate and share pain and troubles of takers. People with a selfish mind-set rarely venture out to give instead look for opportunities to take more and more.

4 Giving develops an aura of self-fulfillment and makes us aware of our inner feelings and encourages giving out. It develops an emotional chord and installs fellow feelings and humility.

5 No help will be complete unless the giver maintains the dignity of taker and is able to perceive ourselves in takers position. Each giving situation is a learning process and acts as a boost to our morality, and strengthens our belief in selfless service to mankind.

6 Self-actualized are great motivators and constantly fuel passion by giving examples of people who have gone from rags to riches. They constantly strive for empathy to relate easily with the takers. They try to understand the behavior of takers and relate their own emotions by promoting kindness, compassion, and tolerance.

7 The influencing factors include behaviors, beliefs, attitudes and values of both givers as also takers.   One has to be mindful of how to show up, respond, react and believe in his abilities and trust them to perform well and deliver.

 

8 Givers have confidence and potential and  feel delighted to empower takers by sharing their knowledge, experience and potential etc.

                                                                                   Photo Credit- Ryan Moreno

 Katherine Hepburn, a leading lady in Hollywood for more than 60 years and was possibly the only person who won the Oscar Award four times.   Katherine was from a middle class family with a modest upbringing. Her parents instilled strong values during her growing up. In her own words:-

 “Once when I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus. There was only one other family between us and the ticket counter. There were eight children, all probably under the age of 12.The way they were dressed, you could tell they didn't have lot of money, but their clothes were neat and clean. The children were well behaved and were standing in line, behind their parents, holding hands. They were excited about the clowns, animals, and all the acts they would be seeing that night. By their excitement, you could sense they had never been to the circus before. The father and mother were standing at the head of the pack. The mother was holding her husband's hand, looking up at him as if to say, "You're my knight in shining armor. "He was smiling and enjoying seeing his family happy. The ticket lady asked the man how many tickets he wanted. He proudly responded, "I'd like to buy eight children's tickets and two adult tickets. "The ticket lady stated the price. The man's wife let go of his hand, her head dropped, the man's lip began to quiver. Then he leaned a little closer and asked, "How much did you say? "The ticket lady again stated the price. The man didn't have enough money. How was he supposed to turn and tell his eight kids that he didn't have enough money to take them to the circus? Seeing what was going on, my dad reached into his pocket, pulled out a $20 bill, and then dropped it on the ground. (We were not wealthy in any sense of the word!)My father bent down, picked up the $20 bill, tapped the man on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, sir, and this fell out of your pocket. "The man understood what was going on. He wasn't begging for a handout but certainly appreciated the help in a desperate, heart breaking and embarrassing situation. He looked straight into my dad's eyes, took my dad's hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, and with his lip quivering and a  tear streaming down his cheek, he replied; "Thank you, thank you, sir.  This really means a lot to me and my family. "My father and I drove back home. The $20 that my dad gave away is what we were going to buy our own tickets with. Although we didn't get to see the circus that night, we both felt a joy inside us that was far greater than seeing the circus could ever provide. The Giver is bigger than the Receiver. If you want to be large, larger than life, learn to give. Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give – which is everything. The importance of giving, blessing others can never be over emphasized because there’s always joy in giving. Learn to make someone happy by acts of giving.” (https://www.bronwynritchie.com)

 

To sum up, giving is an in-built urge that brings joy, humility, purification of thoughts, and control of mind. It is a life mission for the self-actualized and this ultimately brings them close to self-realization. 

 Bhushan Kachru

      Blogger