Welcome to My Blog - Bhushan Kachru

 

                             Re-energize                                                          As We Age 

                                                            Photo Credit-What’s up

 It is rightly said 'so long as one continues to be amazed, one can delay ageing’. According to Zen practices, a true mind does not get attached to youth or old age and there is no expectation from either state.  Remember birds sitting on a tree are never scared of the branch breaking, because their trust is never on the branch but on their own wings so continue with self-belief. Every day is a symbol of rebirth so forget all yesterday’s bad moments and make most of what you have to the fullest. This is the time to be around people who may or may not be our near and dear ones but who appreciate, support and feel gracious and sociable towards us.   I have rarely heard people talking about trees ageing. We all say that trees are growing. No matter tree might start bending yet we feel it is because of fruits. Many of us on the wrong side of 50’s /60’s feel that ageing is fall and approaching winter. The wiser and positive ones’ tune their mind to happiness, joy and a fruitful time of garnering hard work and   hardships faced over the years to accomplish life goals. Remember a beautiful life does not just happen. It is built daily by prayers, humility, sacrifice, positivity and transparency.

 

 

Like most of us, I was always preoccupied with finishing my education. This followed with taking up a career and job, marriage, educating children and then marrying them off. As I got on to wrong side of 50’s, I suddenly woke up and realized that soon I shall superannuate from my active professional life and become conscious with some regret that I forgot to live for myself. I ran all the time around in circles but rarely spend time with myself. The only time I used to be with myself was  usually up and down drive to my office .Most of my yesterday and today went in settling first myself and then my  children. Gradually it extended to video calls with our children and grand children who are settled in the West. Well children are God's gift and bring mornings in our lives but life goals necessitates balance between this and being with ourselves. Decades back in my HR classes, I had learnt about Maslow’s Need Hierarchy motivational theory  that briefly describes  five basic human needs such as- Physiological , Safety , Love and Belonging , Esteem , and Self-actualization. Having slogged and worked hard all these years for accomplishing my professional and family goals. I was always holding my breath and looking through my mind’s eye how soon I would get ‘Self-actualized’, the ultimate goal. I had visualized this phase of my life decades back. Well honestly, today I feel I am standing at the door of this phase like many of us.   To me self-actualization means complete realization of my potential, perspectives, and outlook of my abilities at my command etc.

In the year 2015 I and my spouse travelled to Canberra, Australia for vacations and to be with my son and his spouse. After resting from jetlag for few days, I started my routine of getting ready daily in the mornings by lacing up my shoes and pulling up my socks etc. My daughter-in law asked the next day “Papa where are you going? You are decked up as if you are on to office or jokingly may be dating an Australian ‘Firangi’ (a white foreign woman). ” I recall having told her that I don’t want my mind to feel that I am on to ‘resting and then rusting’. Daily I along with my spouse Rita would walk about 3-4 Kilometers up and down to the nearest lake and enjoy watching numerous ducks, their chicks and children feeding them.  Sometimes walk to the nearest market place at ‘Gungahlin’ for a hot cup of coffee and visit nearby Malls.   The same schedule was invariably followed when we visited our daughter two years back in US.  Fortunately this habit of getting ready every morning continues even today.

 

                                          Gardening along with the spouse is real captivating

As we age, one of the major concerns may often be isolation. The children are either too busy with their families or are away from home. Whatever may be the situation, we have to learn to live by ourselves by following a regimental style of life. Make love to our spouse and bring back beautiful reminiscence of yester years when both of us were made for each other. As we age more often than not, most of us may recall with pleasure husband-wife disagreements when we were young. Often we feel how childish and stupid we were, fighting on trivial matters. But today just two of us alone feel tremendous coziness in the company of each other.  When children come home on holidays, they sometimes may complain about their spouses about small day to day concerns. While we listen, our minds often go into past memories when we were of their age, how we had similar issues. It is inevitable that as we age, we at times discuss agreements/disbarments during younger days.

 

 

The pleasant memories of yester years become a guiding factor to help us to steer our way in times of emotional stress. Nature has bestowed us with laughing and humor to give new perspectives of living. Kahlil Gibran once said, "In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." Live a full life that brings joy, humility, purification of thoughts, and control of mind. It thus makes us self-actualized and brings us closer to enlightenment. 

 

                                                    Extended breakfast feels like ‘Seven we are in Heaven’

Reciting devotional songs, prayers, meditation, and human service only helps provided we have under gone a process of cleansing our mind, heart and thoughts. This is the bare minimum expected of us. To be honest, we do not fear God, we fear ourselves, our deeds. Why fear him, if our path of walking our life journey has been guided by our inner self and consciousness. Believe in God, but let us first believe in our self, in our deeds, and in our karma. Prayers help in purification of our thoughts and actions and bring in serenity in our surroundings. Prayers build our confidence and generate energy. Prayers help us to control distractions of our mind, allowing us to become more watchful and focused in our daily activities.              

    

 Reactivate Yourself

 Ageing no way means less vitality and enthusiasm. A healthy day-to-day routine enables us to boost energy and   manage satisfactorily evitable physical changes. There are abundance opportunities to re-energize ourselves by self-rediscovering ourselves before life becomes white and one with the mother earth. Let us not look back with pain on failures or setbacks. It is a time to integrate mind with love, happiness, and joy.

 

1 Connect with family and friends. Schedule an evening once a month where we have a pot luck dinner with family or friends and have everyone bring their favorite life experience to share. Reconnecting with extended family is a mind de-stressor and helps in healing the mind and body.  It is a ladder to a positive state of mind, stabilized emotions and thoughts.

 2 It may not be possible to connect in person always but keep touching base through telephone/letters/emails. We remain always in the minds of our family members.

 3 We may improve and maintain our energy levels by becoming socially active and supporting a non political cause that is important to us. Often, people complain about various issues and how impossible a situation appears. Pick one thing or issue and then find a group that is working to resolve or change. Participating in the wider community has a value that energizes us and those around us.

 4 Laughing is a manifestation of our child within. Arouse the 'child' and reincarnate heartfelt laughter in our present day lives. Some of us forget to laugh because we often ‘live in the past, look at the future’. A hefty laugh speaks volumes about our inner personality dynamics and life perspectives.

 

5 There may be a situation when we may not be in good terms with our children. Try to amend fences. In the evening of our life, there is no use carrying with the old disagreements, minor conflicts, and misunderstandings etc. Take suitable initiative to sort out matters amicably by extending a hand of cooperation in resolving mutual concerns. The more we age, the more flexible we need to be. Replace our ego and authoritative style with participative behavior for a happy and joyful family. Support our children to pursue their life goals and always bless them. After all they are our own and be magnanimous enough.

 

6 Get regular medical checkups done adhere to doctors advice, taking prescribed medicines regularly. A special care needs to be taken on intake of diet. Gradually reduce consumption of meat products, spices, alcohol, sugar, and coffee. Increase the intake of drinking water in plenty. It helps in draining out intoxicants and other chemical wastes from the body. Increase the intake of curd, fresh lime juices, and fresh fruits subject to the medical advice.

 

7 Don't wile away time by continues sitting at home and doing nothing except nagging our spouse. Work on the laptop and surf web to increase our knowledge. Start writing on subjects of our interest for an on line magazines. Remember by spending day in various activities, we are keeping our body in good shape. We are also ensuring that our mind remains active and involved.

 

8 Brisk walks/stationary cycling are among the top ways to jump start our metabolism. Deep abdominal breathing activates our entire system. Aerobic exercises such as dancing help to transport oxygen throughout the body.

 

9 “A key ingredient in the recipe for healthy aging over 50 is the continuing ability to find meaning and joy in life,” says HelpGuide.org. Activities like pursuing hobbies, taking classes, travelling or volunteering can do a lot to energize and motivate us, no matter what age we are.

 

10 It is said that life is a combination of adjustments, compromises and balancing. So don’t forget to adjust when someone wants to be with us, and compromise and balance when we want to be with someone.

 

11 This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings in our mind for the person who insults us or harms us and nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Believe in the justice of God and the doctrine of Karma. Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted us. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

 

 

TO Tap it—Someone asked me who hurt you? I replied my own expectations. Remember we came with nothing, we will go with nothing, but one great thing we can achieve....Remembrances in people’s mind and small place in their heart. As John Lennon said “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles not tears”

 

Bhushan Kachru

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