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                                    Beyond Reactions to Life Choices

                                                                               Photo Pexels-rodnae-pro

The power of life choice is one of the greatest benefits mankind has been bestowed with.  We rarely realize that we make many choices every moment of the day, yet it hardly occurs what others think of our choice making decision. Deciding the most appropriate choice for any minor or major issues in our lives will always remain a major challenge. Choice is a command, a well deserved desire and more often than not juggling of mind each moment when making decisions.  There are occasions when our mindset gets worn-out, stuck up and wish if someone could decide on our behalf.  Life is full of hard choices and the more options we have, the more complicating it becomes to choose. I am reminded of famous American motivational speaker Zig Ziglar who once said, “You are free to choose, but the choices you make today will determine what you will have, be and do in the tomorrow of your life.” There are no options which are perfect from all perspectives except off course God’s creation of life on the planet. 

                                                                   https://www.freepik.com/vectors/arrow”

Our attitudes, mindset and approach toward life is the most important choice we often self- thrust. These gradually get flipped up based on beliefs, thoughts and emotions we are made to grow with. Making the right choice is an outcome of our judgment, practice, reins of right decision making and an outcome of flexible and progressive mindsets. Life is dynamic so are our choices that keep changing with life objectives and interests. Some times in spite of making right moves, yet we may fail to achieve the desired outcome. But this should not stop us from having a re look to find what went wrong and the changes we need to make. The core premise is that life is like playing a game of cards. Depending on the set of our cards, we have to make the right moves to make a game of it.  

                                                                        Photo Credit-A Conscious Rethink

Reactions to Our Choices

 I am reminded of Charles Swindoll’s famous quote that, “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” Well on a flip side, I am of the opinion that why should we get unnecessarily bogged down with reactions to our life choices. The ‘end all and be all’ needs to be that our choice not only should succeed, must have life and not be just hallowed. It needs to be more like an open book.  So what if initially, the reactions are not satisfactory. But as we go along and keep improving and updating, gradually reactions will become favorable. Responses are generally supported by emotions, beliefs, past experiences and general overview. Even taking all precautions to succeed, yet some people are in the habit of picking   ‘needle in a haystack’. To me choice at times is like a ‘double edged sword’ with reactions either way. I am of the opinion that making a right choice involves largely skills in decision making, past experience and good confidence levels and at times hit and trial works. I feel before giving a mechanical reaction and judging   choice because of the hand/mind behind it, would destroy the sanity of variety. But yes serious reactions to our choices are more than essential because often reactions bring new avenues to the problem and unbiased feedback surely helps in future endeavors.  

 Honestly choice and its reactions are in a way two sides of the same coin. Sometimes we may have to bear with reactions of not choosing a particular option solely because of some reasons. Whatever the outcome of choice decision- right or wrong, reactions are bound to take place whether people like it or not. Understandably the way people look at different aspects of life varies based on their life experiences, expectations and the objective they are working on. Similarly whatever progressive interventions we might inject, yet most mindsets more often than not seem to be surrounded with negativities. Opinions will surely vary from the individual who in the first place decided the best alternative. It is an irony that if the choice implemented turns out to be successful, everyone around will take credit. In the unfortunate event, if the option leads to a failure, the same people will distance themselves and say for example, “Didn’t we tell you. See what happened. You don’t listen.” We may be burning inside with the failure of option; reactions such as these totally derail us. However, there are always some who are man enough not to distance themselves and keep supporting our initiatives.

 Life is all about making choices each moment of our being, managing our circumstances and making things possible. Our motto has to be ‘if we can’t change the circumstances, change our self.’ Well surely easy said than done. In her book ‘Making Choices’, Alexandra Stoddard writes that, "You have to be really tough-minded to make choices. The great mystery about choice is that because you will never be able to please everyone, nor even be understood by them.” So go ahead accept the critic’s comments, and move ahead. Depending on the circumstances, it may not be judicious enough to change the horses mid way.

 Let me briefly share a story depicting how sometimes reactions to our life choices matter more than the decision of the option. The sandalwood trees were being burnt and reduced to charcoal by the woodcutter as a choice because he did not realize the value of sandalwood. The reaction of the king was obvious.

 A king while hunting in a forest felt thirsty. He saw a poor woodcutter who sold fuel in the distant village. The woodcutter gladly offered water to the king. By that time soldiers came to fetch the lost king, woodcutter learnt that his guest was a king. Next day the woodcutter was summoned to the king’s court. The king asked him what boon he would ask from him for his help he offered in the woods. The king said I am giving you a Sandalwood plantation in the forest, make good use of it and prosper.” The woodcutter went back happily. After about six months, the king went to the forest again for a hunt and remembering the woodcutter and the Sandalwood plantation he had given him.   He was disappointed to learn that the wood cutter had started selling charcoal instead of fuel! The sandalwood trees were being burnt and reduced to charcoal because the woodcutter did not know the value of the gift he had received. The king told him to leave back the charcoal and instead gave him 2 meters long sandalwood log to sell off in the market. To his utter surprise he found hundreds of customers wanting to purchase the sandalwood log, offering him lot of money in return. He learnt the blunder he had committed by burning the sandalwood trees.

                                                                                           (Story Courtesy- Rani Ganju , What’s up)

                                                                                      Photo Credit- Book of Sarah

Reactivate Yourself

 Recognize that we are supposed to take an overall view before selecting the appropriate choice. Prior to taking a final call, it is advisable to ask self- questions: Am I on the right track? What are my alternatives? What corrections and modifications I need to incorporate to accomplish my task?  

 

1 Making a wrong choice at times may be an outcome of lack of analytical ability and not being well thought-out enough to evaluate various available options etc.

 2 Avoid acting on impulses such as: out of revenge, negativities, gut feel, spur of moment and hunch. Stay away from getting swayed by copying others or their suggestions unless making evaluations for pros and cons.

3 ‘Five ways’ is a problem-solving technique invented by Sakichi Toyoda, founder of Toyota. He says that when something goes wrong, ask “why?” five times. By asking why something failed, over and over, we eventually get to the root cause. It was initially developed as a problem-solving technique, but over the years people have been using it to determine whether a choice they’re considering is in line with their core values. For instance: Why should I review my goals? I have had no problems so far. Why is that important? Because we want to accomplish our success campaign and not just the goals are fine.

 

To Tap it-: "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice”. Don't worry much whether this or that choice is right or how people will react. Just concentrate on managing the short and long of our life objectives.  Each choice has a positive or negative effect.

 

Bhushan Kachru

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