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Reactivate Your Attitudes to Positivity

                                                                                                            Credit-Prince Akachi (Unsplash)

 

Go back to your childhood memories and appreciate how your experiences, beliefs, and actions have left an everlasting spot on your thinking patterns and gradually became part of your mind. As you grew, little did you realize that these experiences and beliefs often changed to habits and become part of your inner personality dynamics. Surprisingly you forget most of the positive beliefs, advices and ‘Sanskars’ (good deeds) given by parents and teachers. Sadly some of these gradually got replaced by negative thoughts, ego, hypocrisies etc. that you choose from societal interactions.   

 

 

Attitude is often slackly used word for everything concerning fault-finding behavior and is basically habitual response and reaction to what others opine/situations based on your thinking and way of life. These are based on the indications received from senses and get manifested in to thoughts. These then transform in to beliefs and feelings and get stored in your subconscious mind. Attitudes are also formed based on the outcome of your past memories, genes, parenting and social interactions etc.  I bet most of you are unaware that you have  power to amend your thinking paradigms, beliefs and feelings. It is   quite possible that you have become emotionally involved with these facets that you usually feel “I am right. They don’t understand me”. Positivity of attitudes does not take place in isolation; instead you need to generate a constructive ambience around. Also converting attitudes to positivity is not an easy affair, one has to generate positive thoughts, undergo repeated counselling, soft skills training, practice positive vibes, be patient and above all have a strong will to change.

 

I bet whether you realize the push and pull of thoughts that keep going on and on in your mind including   the self-dialogues which keeps churning negativities? This leads to exploitation of mind energy that ultimately affects attitudes and its manifestations. Negative attitudes not only disturb people settings but also affect your mental health. But who cares for the self- health when it comes to your negative habits.  Sadly even at times I myself have been making negative vibes whenever I have got stuck in some unpleasant situation.  Optimistic thoughts and habits not only develop your inner personality dynamics but also play a vital role in   maintaining relationships, building self-motivation and managing challenges favorably.   

Steps to Reactivate Positive Attitudes

 Highlight Positives

Start looking for what is right in a person/situation, instead of cherry picking what is wrong. Shove the irritants of the past and press on to the expected achievements in the future. Positive attitudes are not a magic wand to make problems disappear. It surely helps in resolving these in a constructive way.

 Change Dynamics of Internal Dialogues

It is a common habit to keep alive to chattering, analyzing, and evaluating events that you may or may not be a party to. Most of the time internal dialogues are superfluous such as: being critical, reflecting unfounded fears, revengeful, anger, depressing, pessimistic etc. However, at times it may be constructive as well. Often going by perception, you are seeing other’s situation with a spectacle. Therefore changing perception to the reality helps raise optimism levels.

                                   

      Credit-Andrea Piacquadio (Pexels)                                                            Credit-Pexels-Lucas-Pezet (Pexels) 

Changing Beliefs

 Discipline in any sphere of life emanates from attitudes and habits. Reactivate positivity in your attitudes and initiate suitable transformations in others. In human situations, don’t say “Oh it is totally impossible to get this done”. Initiate and activate helpful thinking and feelings around to manage the hurdles. Avoid passing judgments without going in to merits/ demerits. Being positive is not always a license to managing problems. It surely creates a favorable setting and most often helps in sailing through. It is a habit with most to use words like ‘attitude and habit’ in routine conversations without understanding its usage context. For instance a person may refuses to join a party. Most would feel and say the person is throwing an attitude.  May be the person has genuine reasons to refuse. Respect the feelings of others as you want others to respect yours.

               Ops- Look at your Habit

It is true that you have no control on the outside situations but surely you can control your reactions to these. Your response and reaction to an incident / statement speaks volumes about your attitudes. If someone speaks at your back or passes a sarcastic remark that may happen often, just ignore it. By calling a spade a spade, you are not expected to compete to score points.

 

There are occasions, when you feel frustrated because of the bad behavior of people around. At times you may be tempted to hit back. These are the times of testing your patience levels. Try to maintain calm and just react by a smile. However, if there is a repetition, confront the person with facts in an assertive manner. Ensure that your reactions do not unnecessarily create controversies and hesitate you from the larger objectives. At times communicating through your body language is an offshoot of your attitudes and may convey wrong impressions. Why not choose a response which is easily understood and is cooperative and befitting the occasion. Secondly, do you realize that ego hassles are the real enemy ---“My shirt is whiter than yours oaky”. Maintaining a climate of brotherhood through positive feelings is at times a slow and time consuming process. You need to have a strong will to come out of the usual excuse of 'but, because, and if.' Most often people internally know their bad approach and habits but their egos create a wall for change. Some individuals lack emotional balancing, have inadequate self-awareness and reflect a ‘no care attitude’ while some are thick skinned or even high on negative perceptions and awareness. Heavens will fall but they won’t budge from their negativities. Why not take initiative in mending the fences by travelling an extra mile in renewing relationships. Get off the pseudo/ unhealthy/ showy in relationships. Learn to apologies and make suitable amends should you inadvertently brush shoulders/ step on other’s toes.

             Be Flexible to Bend

             As said earlier, flexibility in your approach and habit of bending are the hallmark of improving and staying                             energized. Understand the thinking patterns and if change is required try altering these so that pressures   can                           be handled well and you are able to spring back from hold ups. Sometimes you may not be clear as    to why                           have positive attitudes and habits. For example, just saying “I want to have an optimistic outlook is  not  at all                          sufficient therefore state the purpose thread bare to send cues to your mind.

              Dust of Negative Thoughts

             Accept that you will face negative situations/thoughts as unavoidable part of societal connections and                                     feel confident to handle these.  Consider disappointments often lead to negative internal  making  you                                     feel shaky and insecure. But as an individual with balanced feelings, you are not expected to lose hope.                                   Just   look at the situation from a different perspective to put a positive turn around. 

             Avoid Negative Societal Interactions

Try avoiding interactions with those who are always found criticizing, backbiting and brushing shoulders. Instead maintain relationships with those who make you feel good with their aura, positive and helpful outlook. Secondly, there may be an occasion when by design negative situations are created at home/ work/ in relationships etc. Maintain a calm temper as for as possible and avoid direct participation by being neutral. If possible, shift from the situation.

 

Tone of Voice

Do not make gloomy comments and avoid describing self as a letdown even under extreme provocations and keep the tone of your voice upbeat. Language surely impacts your attitudes-“Those who speak rude can’t sell honey but those who speak sweet can sell chilies”.  Practice constructive thinking and feelings by changing opinions which are often based on perception, observations and beliefs.

              Acknowledging Other’s Strengths

              It is a good approach to observe and acknowledge other’s strengths and actions and preferably use                                   pauses while you communicate to create importance and resonance.  Little changes in your tone and                                    tenor  can change the way you think and act

            Erosion of Authority

            There are bound to be occasions when you may not see eye to eye with contemporaries because of                                          disagreements/ erosion of authority. This no doubt satisfies your mind temporarily but it results in                                             obstruction  in  building relationships and blocking of communications.  Get rid of false prestige by                                        going  over to mend   relationship on a cup of coffee and restore goodwill. However, should the other                                       party be adamant, forget and  move on?

            Spend Time with Yourself

            How about being alone with your thoughts? Honestly, the only time I used to spend time with myself was                                when I was driving to office/home. Give a break to your mundane activities regularly say half an hour and                               just be with yourself and assess how you could be happy without the temporary material gain.

            Grow Feelings of Gratitude and Humility

           'Never forget what others have done for you and never remember what you have done for others.' Count                                  your    good things, celebrate and renew relationships by organizing small get-togethers periodically to calm                            down  any irritants in dealings to reactivate attitudes and habits to positivity.

           To tap it- “It’s very easy to defeat anyone, but it’s very hard to win someone. Excellence                                  is not a skill it’s an Attitude”

                        Bhushan Kachru